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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

CD Review: Killer Beaz: “Don’t Ever Touch Anybody You Don’t Know”



The new CD by comedian Killer Beaz, Don’t Ever Touch Anybody You Don’t Know, was recorded in Birmingham, Alabama, and he opens by talking about how he flew in from Mobile, Alabama. His description of that airport is pretty funny: “The ticket counter, y’all, is in a Pizza Hut.” And yes, he says “y’all” a lot. A whole lot.

He refers to marijuana as “devil weed,” and talks about how a contact high from a cab driver caused him to mistake a utility closet for an elevator. He says to someone in the audience, “Get it, ma’am? As in the maid’s closet?

A lot of his material has to do with redneck stuff, mentioning Wal-Mart and even Ted Nugent. He says, “I went to take a shower the other day, y’all, there is a folded out newspaper on the floor with ‘bath mat’ wrote in magic marker.” (Yes, “wrote,” not “written.”)

Still, some of his material is really funny, even clever. For example, when talking about an incredibly hot day, he says: “The sun was so bright, my shadow unhooked and stayed on the porch…I went and got a flashlight and come back and shot holes in him. They hate that.”

And I love his bit on children: “Those of you who do not yet have kids, go get some. First, though, build yourself a concrete house with a metal drain in the floor. Then bust up all your good stuff, including dreams and plans.” That’s great.

The problem for me is that his delivery is rather loud and not nuanced. It’s all at the same level, and I have to admit, he quickly wore on me. It’s hard to get past the voice. Maybe it’s unfair to say, but that southern thing becomes quite abrasive and obnoxious before too long. And, yes, he sounds rather dumb. Sometimes he slows his delivery even more, like on certain lines in the bit about ordering lobsters, and trying to find out if a lobster is dead or in a catatonic state. He also likes to say that each bit is a true story, y’all.

But the Birmingham audience seems to be having a great time.

Don’t Ever Touch Anybody You Don’t Know was released on September 17, 2013.

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