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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Highlights and Horrors of Watching Twilight

by Kari Tervo

I just finished watching part four of the Twilight saga, Breaking Dawn, Part I.

In my earlier post on Twilight (here), I was in the middle of Eclipse, the third one. I wrote, "I’m just hoping the birthing scene involves sunlight and sparkles. And I hope none of you who have seen it are laughing at that."

Ummm. . .ha ha ha! The birthing scene alone was so intense and tragic, I had to watch from that point to the end in three separate sittings. Oh, how I long for the blissful ignorance of my youth (last Monday).

So, about this baby vampire (or whatever it is; I guess I have to watch Breaking Dawn, Part II to figure that out): Renesmee? Really? C'mon, Stephenie Meyer. Bella is the anti-lame. I don't think she would really get so sentimental or obvious as to make some horrid hybrid of her mother's name (Renee) and Edward's mother's name (Esme). Probably her high school friend Jessica would do that. I don't know, maybe motherhood changes you. They say there's something about baby brain. But I really think Stephenie Meyer was like, screw it! Who cares about its name when there's a grand possibility Jacob is going to eat it? At least Alice spoke for all of us when she strongly advised against Renesmee. She could see it coming that we wouldn't like it. Would that we all had such informative visions.


These movies are so gripping, they're putting my head all up in Twilight. I'm sitting here crying when the music swells, sobbing things like, "This is so tragic!" I even had a dream last night that Bella had a baby boy with Harry Potter. Bella's dad's name is Charlie, and Harry's mom's name was Lily.

So they named him Chilly. 

Makes about as much sense as Renesmee.

I wish I had been in the theater for Breaking Dawn: Part I (or wait, was that Eclipse?)
. That part when they're in the tent, and Bella is shivering and Jacob has to warm her? Edward's obviously reluctant to let Jacob crawl into bed with his girl, and Jacob says to him, deadpan: "Don't forget: I'm hotter than you." Whooo! Someone finally said it! I bet there were squeals and peals of laughter in multi-plexes worldwide. Consoling note to Team Edward: To be fair, Edward is dead. Undead. But, very, very cold.

I think I just came out as Team Jacob.

So, I'm about to fire up (not a Team Jacob reference at all) my Amazon Prime and download Breaking Dawn: Part II. Here is my prediction: We get lots of intensity and danger, but some fun stuff about Bella learning to be a vampire. Like maybe she'll slide comically across an iced-over pond while Rosalie thumps her foot in excitement and giggles. But ultimately, I think we will somehow see Edward's death, maybe by the Volturi. That will leave Jacob and Bella together. Bella can finally fully realize her love for Jacob, and Jacob can. . .do whatever it is guys who have imprinted do.

Both a reference, and a salve. Everyone should watch.

I had a guy who imprinted on me once, in college. Note to guys with crushes: There is a limit to how many mix tapes you can show up to drop off at a dorm room. If she never told you where her dorm room is, the limit is zero. Team Meet Her At Starbucks!

Kay pop culture fans. I'm off to the final episode of the Twilight saga, Breaking Dawn, Part II. This stuff is intense. I'm scared. Please hold me.

Find my thoughts after completing the whole series here! Like you don't know there are spoilers!

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