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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Trehern Reads: KISS: Psycho Circus #5

Don't even try to understand this cover, homes.
Yeah, you read right!  Trehern is back after a pretty long October hiatus; rebooting podcasts isn't as easy as it used to be, fella!  Anyway, over the course of October, I've managed to READ even more sh*tty comics and slipped in some actual print literature to boot!  And to start off Novemeber I thought it proper to introduce you to the lowest rated comic in TREHERN READS' history: KISSPsycho Circus #5...

Pat (as Paul Stanley): THIS SOUNDS SENSATIONAL!!

SPOILER ALERT: It's not.

We open with a synopsis of issue #4, and even that small paragraph was god-awful.  A young woman by the name of ??? is stumbling around a circus and meets a deformed clown and some tall guy in a top hat.  The first half of this book, by the way, doesn't even feature KISS, just melo-dramatic references to roses and suicide.  By the way, I just came up with the baddest name for my next heavy metal album: RoSeS and SuiSide by Vulcan Rain [1].

Anyway, eventually, we get a look at the KISS members, Starchild, Space Ace, the Demon and of course, Catman.  But they aren't rock-n-roll stars; no, that would be too normal.  Guys having adventures while on tour?  Banging hot groupies?  Defeating the housewive-enemies of rock AND of roll?  No, that would be interesting storytelling.  Instead, let's make these guys spirits of the Earth or some sh*t.  Each member represents some etheareal force, and our main character, ???, hallucinates and apparently she's a chosen one or something.  It really doesn't matter, I f*cking hated this whole experience, so

My final rating of KissPsycho Circus #5 (1997):
1 out of 10 People Who Actually 
Enjoyed this Series

Notes
[1] My fictional, Finnish speed-metal group.  We are accepting gigs.  

[2] Wikipedia: Psycho Circus: In 1997 Image began printing the first officially licensed non-Marvel Kiss comic, Todd McFarlane’s Kiss: Psycho Circus. It lasted for 31 issues and was compiled into four trade paperback issues. The series was based on a tour theme that Kiss were working on at the time, and spawned five magazines that focused on the comic series. Wizard also printed a special edition magazine detailing the characters that appeared throughout the comic series. The series was completed in the year 2000. (Huh.  I guess the omitted context had been all part of the plan...)

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