Comedy Interview: Tim Barnes

 

I'm recording the intro into my phone. I don't know if it's going to actually say what I want it to say or if the words will be wrong. I refuse to actually look at that, I'm just going to send it in as done. The interview guest today is amazing, he's awesome, he's fantastic, is one of the best, he's one of the best best and he's black! That's right guys, we did it, we got a black. I knew that was the goal the whole time. I didn't tell him that but god damnit that was my goal. I had to fill that quota and who better to fill quota with than today's guest dot dot dot Tim Barnes!

 

 

Riggs: How are you?
Barnes: You know, I'm doing well! I've been staying busy with video projects, stand up, and working at a Dunkin' Donuts. How about you? What's going on with good old Matty Riggs?

Riggs: If you could, how would you plan your own funeral?
Barnes: Oh, I see this is one of the straight forward type interviews. No room for small talk, eh? I always thought a New Orleans style funeral would be great. I'd also like to have a video played of myself explaining how to cope with my non existence.

 

Riggs: Corn: Canned or Fresh?

Barnes: Cooked.

 

Riggs: What is the thing (tv show, comedian, person etc.) that gave you the idea to start comedy?
Barnes: The first time I read George Carlins "When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops" I was blown away by how funny it was. I was a pretty conservative thinking guy, but those jokes were so subversive and brilliant that they made me explore new ideas.I also strongly identified with the Woody Allen character in Annie Hall. Something about that perspective on the world clicked with me and hasn't really gone away.Oh, and I loved The Animaniacs as a kid! I still think it's one of the greatest comedy programs of all time.

 

Riggs: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, what would you suggest as an appetizer?
Barnes: Dessert.

 

Riggs: How many surgeries have you had?
Barnes: This is the first time I've mentioned this publicly, but I had ball surgery in elementary school. I just remember having a really sharp pain, and some poor surgeon had to open up my ball sack to fix it. That has been my only surgery thus far.

 

Riggs: What are your four favorite state capitals (lower 48)? Please don't say why.
Barnes: I really don't feel like it.

 

Riggs: 5 words or less...explain religion.
Barnes: Rituals that give life meaning.

 

Riggs: What are you most proud of in the world?
Barnes: I dunno yet.

 

Riggs: Any final thoughts? (Although none of your words will be edited, do know that if you do not include nice words about me, I will add them in for you...fyi, my version of you will be very complimentary towards me)
Barnes: You're great, and I believe in you!

 

Photo of Mr. Barnes by www.elliepritts.com