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An all-new Pop Culture Beast is coming!
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Friday, May 9, 2014

Comedy Interview: Henry Rollins!

 
Oh man, are you in for a treat. Like a snickerdoodle multiplied by a orange push pop divided by homemade cobbler. As we all know, that is less then or equal to a fun sized Twix. The interview subject can do anything. Seriously, e-mail him with something you think he couldn't do and HE WILL DO IT! Ladies, gentleman & animals who have recently learned to read...Henry Rollins.
 
Riggs:  How are you?
Rollins:  Perky.  Just like on the label.

 
Riggs:  If you could, how would you plan your own funeral?
Rollins:  There wouldn't be one. The body would never be found.
 
Riggs:  Corn: Canned or Fresh?
Rollins:  Enhanced.
 
Riggs:  What is the thing (tv show, comedian, person etc.) that gave you the idea to start comedy?
Rollins:  Hee Haw. When the cast did their own version of the Scopes Monkey Trial, I knew what my future would hold. I mean, now there's a theme park and everything.
 
Riggs:  If you could have dinner with any historical figure, what would you suggest as an appetizer?
Rollins:  Mini pizzas with cheese and the flesh of Keebler elves.
 
Riggs:  How many surgeries have you had?
Rollins:  Good question. All I remember is my father taking the electrodes off my head and exclaiming, "He's alive!" He always told me I was a "mix and match" kid.
 
Riggs:  What are your four favorite state capitals (lower 48)? Please don't say why.
Rollins:  Helena MT, Madison WI, Austin TX (is TX still a state?) I can't count past three.
 
Riggs:  5 words or less...explain religion.
Rollins:  Me scared of dark!
 
Riggs:  What are you most proud of in the world?
Rollins:  I haven't gotten there yet but I think with a few more lessons, I will be able to tear the hair off my back with my own teeth. And on that day, I will be walking pretty tall, believe me.
 
Riggs:  Final thoughts. (Although none of your words will be edited, do know that if you do not include nice words about me, I will add them in for you...fyi, my version of you will be very complimentary of me)
Rollins:  I met Matt in Paris in 1974. I was young, angry, wore a beret and smoked nonstop. He is the only one who liked my poetry. One day, he was gone. There I was, alone, dosed with my first case of clap and broke. Then, decades later, he comes roaring back into my life with these pithy and probing questions to rip my world asunder once more. I can't stand it that I still love him so. Damn you, Matt.
 
Find more about Henry:
HenryRollins.com
HenryRollins on twitter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialhenryrollins

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