I've said it a million times that the state of gay cinema is not exactly high art. In fact for the most part it's quite the opposite. What I don't understand is how people with zero budget can make great artistic short films on their home computers but people with decent size budgets and production company backing can only manage to make something barely watchable. Case in point:
Sideline Secrets
Starring: James Townsend, Alex Wilson, Sarah Kelly, Dan Swett
Written by: James Townsend and Steven Vasquez
Directed by: Steven Vasquez
This is probably one of the worst written, worst directed, worst acted movie I have ever seen.
I'm still not quite sure what the plot is supposed to be. There's some talk of some missing street hustlers and drug addicts, a guy who has a girlfriend but is struggling with his insanely obvious gayness not to mention his father issues (step father issues actually). A Father who seems to be having sex with his male patients and video taping it. A cop is involved in this somehow also.
Convoluted plot aside, this movie has a terrible time trying to decide what kind of movie it actually is. Whether a family drama, a sex comedy, a thriller, a love story. I don't even know.
The acting is so beyond bad that it isn't even laughably bad. It's just sad.
Can we say that there is a secret ring leader who we see for the very first time eating a donut. Are we supposed to be the least bit surprised by his identity?
This isn't even an enjoyable bad movie. It's frustrating and there isn't a single good thing I can mention about it. There are scenes where the camera lens has spots on it for crying out loud.
Darker Secrets: Sideline 2
Starring: Richard Bolander, David Beutler, Riley Sheridan, Ryan Bauer, Danika Christie, Ryan Lynn, and Tim Garrett.
Written and Directed By: Steven Vasquez
Apparently, Sideline Secrets was one of the top ten selling gay films of 2006 (this information is nothing but sad.) and someone thought that in itself is deserving of a sequel.
Actually, Sideline 2 is light years better than the first one. It really shares no connection to the original besides the main character Peter reviewing the video tapes the baddies made in part one. It improves upon its predecessor in every conceivable way. The acting is better, the writing is better, the directing is better, the cast is better looking.
Unfortunately, this doesn't necessarily mean it's good. It's still bad. Only, this time it's actually watchable. Barely. The writing is indeed a bit better this time around except the plot is just as convoluted. We have a missing guy who turns up in the videos Peter is watching but eventually Peter decides to use the videos for some nefarious means and any previous search for this missing guy is ignored. We never find out what happened to him, which I thought, was the point of the movie. Peter's character takes an unbelievable left turn and in the end we're left wondering exactly what the hell it is he is doing. Blackmail for sex? Why? It was just too far out of left field to be believable. I admire the attempt at a shocking ending but sometimes it's just too shocking and ruins it.
Despite it's ridiculous ending, I'm sure we'll be treated to Even Darker Secrets: Sideline 3 sometime soon.
Bottom line, Sideline Secrets is terrible. Darker Secrets is watchable. If only for the skin that seems to show up on every other scene.
Sideline Secrets is available on DVD now.
Darker Secrets: Sideline 2 will be released on February 26.
RAWR(for more)
